12 Rounds - My Big Hero

Ok I have no memory of buying this, or why, or whatever. Nick Cave is on here somewhere, and the main claim to fame seems to be that the dude from Bomb the Bass and his wife are the core members, which I can't imagine sent me out in a quest for it. The lady on the front cover looks a lot like Amanda Palmer, but again I don't think that was the swing vote in favor for owning this. Maybe someone gave it to me?

shrugs.

Come On In Out of the Rain - Creepy mechanical creatures slithering around and percussing. Hmm, lady singer sounds like a Tricky collaborator reject, or Alison Goldfrapp and Beth Gibbons singing live without the benefit of monitors. Kids, hitting notes is cool, don't believe the hype. Still there's something interesting almost going on here. This dude apparently went on to program all those recent Nine Inch Nails albums that nobody cares about. Feather in his cap!

Pleasant Smell - No one should name a song this. Singer lady is getting WORSE somehow. Pretty damn boring and slow. Lyrics are CRAP.

Sunshine - Huh, 1998 was the sort of year that made albums like this happen. Musically I can almost stand it, but it's still a pretty embarrassing reminder of what used to pass for spooky in the late 90's.

My Big Hero - Ok this just has to be nepotism. No one would let this person sing if they weren't married to them. The Portishead ripoff train is starting to get ridiculous and I want to get off.

Something's Burning - So apparently when you get sick of ripping off Portishead, you start poorly ripping off Moloko. I feel kind of bad for this lady, somebody should have pulled her aside and dispelled any illusions she might have had about how the adoring throngs were going to just gobble this up.

Where Fools Go - First positive response! Intro uses a "Red Right Hand" sample to great effect, with an interesting reinterpretation, but then it all falls apart because lady starts singing again and she just uh can't.

2 Miles - Back to Goldfrapp's first album, complete with whistling and spaghetti western guitars. This is actually the best track so far, because lady isn't trying to do all that much, sticking in her comfort zone of 7 or so notes. If I heard this on random play, I wouldn't get all that angry, which is hardly a ringing endorsement, but it is a small victory for this record. In fact, I will go so far as to say that I actually like this.

Bovine - So this album is pretty heavily backloaded which is an odd strategy. This song is kind of working for me as well. Lyrics are still mind-bendingly stupid. OH NO THOUGH, we just had a "hardcore" shouty part and it was pure garbage. Gained good will slipping away rapidly.

Me Again - More adequate instrumentation, singer laid back and thus less annoying. Wikipedia says they toured with the Sneaker Pimps, which makes me shudder with the power of naptime and dislike.

Mr. Johnson Take a Bow - I have no idea where this song just came from, but it is so much better than anything else on here that I have to assume that someone in the band stepped in and said "Hey lets try to close out the album by not sucking". This is by far the standout track on the album, but don't go running off to listen to this and thus get tricked into buying it, because NOTHING else on here is really more than mediocre.

PURCHASE PRICE: Totally unsure, price tag says $6.95, but I can only assume this came out of a dollar clearance bin or get left at my house by some poor unfortunate that felt bad about throwing it away.

RATING (1-10): 5. At least it isn't !!!.