!!! - !!!

SO lets get this whole name thing out of the way first. It's dumb. I am forced to start with this because I guess that punctuation comes first in the alphabet. I know its chk chk chk, or durp durp durp, or whatever other repetitive noise you want to use to sound smarter than your friends, but whatever. I think that I bought this on the recommendation of a former roommate that owned the vinyl Bright Eyes box and thus shouldn't have been trusted (not that there isn't bright eyes coming up in this blogs future, I am like a catfish eating the shit off the floor of river music). I think i listened to this once? It shows up all the time in my last.fm because if I don't pay attention and just start things going it's the first song on there, so I guess I have listened to the first 15 seconds of the album like 4000 times.

The Step - slow build, good for wandering off and ignoring. singer is bored, ani difrancos little plastic castle horn section seems to have been called into the studio, but there isn't much for them to do, so they leave. sounds a lot like a band that met each other in the parking lot and dont know each other all that well. singer sounds like he might have auditioned for les savy fav but wasn't comfortable getting vocally weird or wearing rainbow leggings and being fat.

Hammerhead - funk without funk. lead singer is going all big audio dynamite on me but more boring. oh good, nauseous sounding breakdown. congas never make anything ok. thank god this is an ep i think.

KooKoo-Ka FUk-u - jesus what a stupid song title. MUSHPILE, hate this, hate the band, hate the singer. just looked at total time of album and although there are only 7 songs, this clocks in at nearly 45 minutes, dreams of EPness destroyed. more stupid wooziness going on here. oh look you found the pan button, fuck this band.

Storm the Legion - Ok, for the purposes of honesty, I am going to commit to giving each song at least 50% before dkipping it, which means this album only has to be 23 minutes long. "LSD taught me a lot about me" how fucking stupid is this. And hey, thats just touching the surface of how stupid the lyrics to this song are. This is just fucking terrible.

There's No Fucking Rules, Dude - Elevating plodding to an art form at this point. Wait that sounds positive, but I don't mean it that way. I feel like I am getting dragged down into the boring party this band is having in its living room, and all my friends have been smart enough to leave and I'm not sure how to get a ride home so I'm stuck with these assholes. FUCK, this song is nearly 9 minutes long so I have to give it 45 more seconds more before i can hit the skip button. WHERE IS MY CAB, THESE PEOPLE ARE BORING.

Intensify - Had a moment where I thought I remembered this song and liked it, but then I realized it sounds JUST LIKE A CAKE SONG that I have enjoyed. Yeah thats right you hipster fucks, I thought I was enjoying this, but then I realized that I liked it because you RIPPED OFF CAKE hahaha stuff that in your art school portfolio you dicks. ok 7 minutes, stay strong, you can make it. While I wait, I am kind of obsessed with figuring out which cake song this was, but now, we have a kiddy shout along clap section. Poor kids, stuck in the studio with your shitty, shitty music. Oh good, skip time is now.

Feel Good Hit of the Fall - So is this a clever joke on Feel Good Hit of the Summer QOTSA? If so, why? If not, still why? Glad to set the tone with this piece of shit as a first listen, it really affirms why I never listen to stuff I own anymore. This is better than anything else so far, mostly because of the wooly synth moments, but still ugh.

PRICE PAID ACCORDING TO USED STICKER ON CASE: $8.95. fuck me.

RATING 1-10: 3